My Big Fat Greek Wedding -- We Need to Be Seen

I remember a period of time when I really needed to be seen. I was working hard at my full time teaching job, and at home, struggling to keep the house in order and running smoothly.

Bills to pay, grass to mow, and growing children to clothe, it was an overwhelming responsibility to handle all on my own.

One thing I would not compromise was a weekly Family Night when, no matter what the pressures were during the week, I would set everything aside to have a fun evening with my kids.

In addition, I was working on my writing every spare moment I could. I was exhausted and discouraged. I felt like nobody saw, much less appreciated, everything I was doing.

I prayed about feeling all my efforts were invisible. I brought my need to be seen to the Lord. I needed to be noticed, maybe even commended for the seemingly endless list of tasks I was doing to meet the needs of my students, my school, my children, and my household.

I had been surviving on:

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart,

as working for the Lord, not for men.”

Colossians 3:23

This had helped me immensely, but now I needed a fresh word from the Lord to sustain me. I opened my Bible and found myself reading in Revelation.

I just about fell off my chair when I read:

“I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance.”

and

“I know your deeds, your love and faith, your service and perseverance,

and that you are now doing more than you did at first.”

Revelation 2:2 and 19

That was an epiphany moment for me with Jesus. I rejoiced that He could see me. He knew all the things I did, big and little. He saw the effort I put into my lessons and unit plans. He saw the lengths I went to in order to be a blessing to my kids.

Just when I was feeling like all of it went unnoticed; I learned anew that He sees!

My Big Fat Greek Wedding -- He Sees Her

One morning Ian arrives at the Dancing Zorba’s restaurant to meet his friend for coffee. Toula, serving tables, has just endured overhearing a conversation between her father, Gus and her Aunt Voula and Uncle Theo. They had been discussing sending Toula to Greece to find a husband. They were talking about her as if she is invisible.

But suddenly Ian sees her.

Ian looks at Toula in a way that makes her wish she was invisible. In fact, she is so uncomfortable that she cannot move, speak or think straight. She pours coffee into Ian’s cup when it is his friend who has asked for it. She feels so self-conscious that she sinks down below counter level in order to avoid his gaze.

What caused her paralysis of body, tongue, and mind? She might have asked herself what she looked like from his perspective. Perhaps she examined herself and saw what we saw; stringy unkempt hair, non-descript shapeless clothing, and a countenance of hopelessness and despair.

I believe being seen is what sparked her transformation.

Similarly, when Jesus looks at us, we cannot escape his gaze even if we want to. He sees everything, whether we are comfortable with it or not.

Jesus once saw a little short man climbing a sycamore-fig tree. Jesus saw right through the man’s skin and into his heart. It is in Luke chapter 19 we read about Jesus meeting Zacchaeus, a tax collector. After Jesus sees Zacchaeus up in the tree, He calls him by name and invites Himself over for dinner. When Zacchaeus realizes he’s been seen, it changes him. Zacchaeus immediately declares,

“Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.”

Luke 19:8

In the same way, when we realize that Jesus sees us, we are compelled to consider what we look like from Christ’s perspective. We may do a double-take as well.

Jesus does not, however, look on the outward appearance. He looks upon the heart. Looking into the deep recesses of our heart can be considerably more upsetting than seeing ourselves on our worst hair day, with acne, during a wardrobe crisis.

“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.”

Jeremiah 17:9

And everything that is in our hearts is laid bare before Him.

“The eyes of the Lord are everywhere,

keeping watch on the wicked and the good.”

Proverbs 15:3

If we have guilt or shame in our hearts, then we may not want to be seen. But, it is not always uncomfortable to be seen. In fact, sometimes just the opposite is true.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding -- Hope Deferred

Happier moments come later in the film, but near the beginning of this incredible story, the mood is decidedly hopeless.

Toula is over 30 and, to the mortification of her parents, she is still single. While this may be somewhat of a disappointment for her, it is pure devastation for her parents. She is well aware of the unfulfilled longings of her family, and her community which are threefold: for her to marry a Greek boy, for her to produce Greek babies, and for her to feed everyone until the day she dies.

We can all relate to having feelings of disappointment. Scripture acknowledges the pain that accompanies unfilled longings.

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick.”

Proverbs 13:12

This was true for Toula, and certainly for her parents. The problem is if Toula’s only chance at ‘true happiness’ depends upon her finding a husband and procreating – that is a goal can be blocked. It takes two to make that dream a reality.

Thankfully, Toula realizes this and begins to make plans for herself that do not necessarily involve marriage. She begins to pursue other things that depend on her and her alone. She decides to go back to school and upgrade her training. She manages to get a position with her new training at her aunt’s travel agency. She also makes changes to the way she does her hair, applies her make-up, and chooses her clothes.

These external changes really do help Toula find some happiness and satisfaction. However, if things in her internal life had not changed, she soon would have found herself emotionally right back where she started.

Fortunately, she meets Ian who gives her further validation:

• He sees her,
• He embraces her, and her culture,
• He knows she is worth it.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding -- Introduction

Have you ever been embarrassed by your family?

By the overwhelming acceptance of this lovable flick, it is clear most of us can relate to the humiliation that is most painful when it comes from the quirky behaviors of our family members. Showcasing the most awkward moments possible involving a culture clash, this film is ripe with hilarious moments from start to finish.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding is the highest growing independent film to date, and the 5th highest grossing film overall for the year 2002. It brought in a whopping $241 million at the box office. The writer, Nia Vardolos, also starred in the film as Toula Portocoulas opposite Hollywood hunk, John Corbett, as Ian Miller.

Some of the most humorous and memorable moments of this picture include the moment when Ian and Toula make meaningful eye contact and smile at one another for the first time. He walks back and forth in front of the travel agency where she works. Walking like a chicken to make her laugh, with his eyes glued on Toula, he bumps into an elderly lady who immediately begins beating him with her purse. Then, when he walks into the travel agency to introduce himself, she clotheslines herself with the phone headset.

It is romantic slapstick at its finest.

Later on in the film, we are more than amused when Toula’s brother Nick teaches Ian some phrases in Greek. When Ian asks how to say “Thank you” Nick teaches him a phrase which he dutifully repeats to his future mother-in-law. “Nice boobs” is what he unknowingly says, and Maria promptly smacks her son upside the head.

Never tiring of the ruse, Nick tells Ian at a large family gathering to call everyone into the house for dinner using a Greek sentence. Onto his plan, Ian calls Cousin Angelo over to confirm what the phrase means. Angelo verifies it means “Come into the house everyone, it is time for dinner.” However, when Ian confidently shouts out the announcement, everyone dissolves into laughter. What he has said is, “I have three testicles.”

The Princess Bride -- Conclusion

Buttercup faces fear and doubt in the Fire Swamp, but doesn’t feel utter hopelessness until after she is forced to marry Prince Humperdinck. She returns to the bridal suite and prepares to take her own life. Westley stops her just in time. He saves her yet again from certain death.

Jesus will never let us self-destruct either. The antidote to despair is hope. God’s Word tells us:

“Guard my life and rescue me;

let me not be put to shame,

for I take refuge in you.

May integrity and uprightness protect me,

because my hope is in you.”

Psalm 25:20-21

In the final moments of the film, Westley removes Buttercup from the castle where Humperdinck would have strangled her that very night. Together they face Humperdinck. Westley lies on her bed using only his voice to instruct Buttercup. (He was still 'partly dead.')

She obeys his every word and soon has Humperdinck tied up.

This is very much the way Jesus helps us overcome our enemies on earth. He does not physically do it for us, but He will instruct us on what to do, step by step. It is our job to listen for His voice and to obey. This requires a relationship of trust and obedience. And it requires courage. But He never asks us to do something He doesn’t know we can do, with His help.

Yes, Jesus removes us from the certainty of the wages of sin which is eternal death, and instead gives us the gift of eternal life in Him.

Our Jesus defeats death at every turn. He is, in every way, equipped to do battle on our behalf. He is our Prince. He is Life. He is our Bridegroom. And when we arrive in heaven, there will be a feast and celebration that outshines even My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

Princess Bride -- Rodents of Unusual Size

The Rodents of Unusual Size represent the battles that are fought in our own minds and hearts. They represent things like fear, doubt and hopelessness. These can be paralyzing, even deadly. Our Rescuer can defeat them, but we must cooperate with Him.

First, we must know what God’s Word says about fear and doubt:

“There is no fear in love.

But perfect love drives out fear,

because fear has to do with punishment.

The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

1 John 4:18

We can also see that there is a clear warning about the consequences of doubt:

“. . . believe and not doubt,

because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea,

blown and tossed by the wind.”

James 1:6

Next, we must choose to obedient no matter how much our emotions rail against us. Following Jesus is not for the faint at heart. We are commanded not to give into fear and doubt:

“Have I not commanded you?

Be strong and courageous.

Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged,

for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:9

It is not unusual to feel fear, or even doubt at times. It is just that we must not give in to it. It is your choice.

The Fire Swamp of Life -- The Lightening Sand

Another danger in the Fire Swamp is the lightening sand. Stepping into this lightening-quicksand represents falling into sin. The trap can look misleadingly like solid ground, but the nano-second you step there, it sucks you under in a second.

Sometimes we stumble into sin because we are just not on guard against it. Maybe we don’t notice the warning signs, or perhaps at times we choose to ignore them. In any case, we fall into sin. It is not nearly as easy to get out as it was to get in.

Slopes that are particularly slippery include pride, gossip, or the love of money. These are subtle and can sneak up on you in a split second. Sin is described as something that hinders us in the race that is marked out for us.

“Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles,”

Hebrews 12:1

Sounds a lot like quicksand, doesn’t it? And what does Westley do the very instant Buttercup slips under? He grabs a vine and dives in after her, of course.

“I write this to you so that you will not sin.

But if anybody does sin,

we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense –

Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.

He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins,

not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.”

1 John 2:1-2

Even when we do mess up, He is there to rescue us! It is so good to know that even though Vizzini might say it’s, “Inconceivable!” Jesus is with us all the time.

His very name, Emmanuel, literally means “with-us God.” He is always there to help us avoid falling into sin.

“We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin;

the one who was born of God keeps (her) safe,

and the evil one cannot harm (her).”

1 John 5:18

(Brackets reflect where I've changed scripture to be directed at us, ladies!)

In the Fire Swamp of life, the one I want at my side is definitely Jesus. He will protect me from the fire spurts, keep me from slipping into the lightening sand, and pull me out if I do somehow manage to step into it. But we are not safely through it just yet.

There are still the ROUS’s.

The Fire Swamp of Life -- The Fire Spurts

The Fire Swamp represents Life. Life can be tough. Inside the Fire Swamp, they have three major threats to face:

• the fire spurts,
• the lightening sand,
• the ROUS’s.

The fire spurts represent the fiery darts aimed at us by, who else but, Satan.

“Take up the shield of faith,

with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.”

Ephesians 6:16

Our faith in Him provides us with all we need to have our own spiritual fire extinguisher useful against the attacks that come unexpectedly and are designed to destroy us. Maybe, like Miracle Max, you are fired. Maybe, you are falsely accused by a friend, or maybe you are wounded with cruel words.

How does this spiritual fire extinguisher work in practical terms?

Imagine for example that you’re turning forty and one of your relatives has the audacity to say, “Boy, you’re looking old.” That is a fire spurt straight from the mouth of Satan if I’ve ever heard one! Before you smack her upside the head, (as much as she deserves it) stop!

First, remember the Lord says:

“The insults of those who insult you fall on me.”

Psalms 69:9

You will realize that this person is not really messing with you, since you are safely tucked into the cleft of the Rock, they are really messing with Him. This will likely slow your heart rate down a bit.

Next, you can remind yourself God’s Word also promises:

“I will contend with those who contend with you,”

Isaiah 49:25

At this point you may begin to feel a little bit sorry for the person who has insulted you. After all, not only have they insulted the Living Christ, but also they have his wrath to face. Hopefully, by this point your breathing will begin to resume a normal rhythm.

Finally, take a look at what else the Bible says about people who mistreat the loved ones of Christ:

“I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse.”

Genesis 12:3

You have got to admit, that is pretty powerful stuff. You may even be able to smile at this point. It is much better to be at His side than anywhere else, even if you are dodging fire spurts.

Princess Bride -- Beware of Humperdincks!!

No sooner has Westley revealed his true identity to his Beloved when Humperdinck advances to retrieve his fiancée. Westley escorts her through the Fire Swamp, saving her from its various deadly perils. Westley knows that Humperdinck is more of a threat than the Fire Swamp. He knows Buttercup will be safer with him going through the Fire Swamp rather than with Humperdinck no matter where he may take her.

Humperdinck represents any man who may appear to have something to offer.

"...having a form of godliness but denying its power. ...They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth."

2 Timothy 3:5-7

Maybe he seems to offer a more comfortable life. Maybe he seems to offer protection. Maybe he seems to offer social standing or respect. But the truth is that at the heart of the matter, he does not care about your best interests. Perhaps he needs someone to clean his house or make his meals. Perhaps he needs someone so the world sees him as a successful man. Perhaps he needs a wife so that he fits in socially or is approved by his family.

I can tell you from personal experience that it is better to be in The Fire Swamp with Jesus than anywhere else with a Humperdinck!

Princess Bride -- Rescuing the Beloved

Several times in our story the Princess Bride is saved from certain death. First, Westley, known at this point in the story as “The Man in Black” rescues her from Vizzini who has intentions to kill her when they reach the Guilder frontier. Westley valiantly pursues the kidnapper’s ship through the night, scales the Cliffs of Insanity, and defeats Inigo by the sword and bests Fezzik with strength before finally facing off with Vizzini in a battle of wits.

Even while the villain’s knife-point is poised at Buttercup’s delicate throat, the valiant Man-in-Black approaches to set her free.

Later, after Buttercup is forced to marry Humperdinck, she is about to take her own life, and Westley intervenes to save her from destroying her own life.

Hmmm.

Where have we heard that before?

Jesus also snatches us from death in every way.

Before Jesus came for us Satan had taken us captive to do his will and we were slaves to sin. And the wages of sin is death.

“Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion

looking for someone to devour.”

1 Peter 5:8

Scripture tells us that the devil comes to steal, kill and destroy. Thank God, Jesus comes to set us free!!

Princess Bride -- Undeniable Resurrection!

There are those who would deny that Jesus' resurrection took place. There are theories out there such as the swoon theory, and the theory that Jesus’ disciples stole His body and lied about the resurrection. The truth is the soldiers who guarded the tomb saw everything and reported it to the chief priests. They were paid off and instructed on what to say.

“So the soldiers took the money and did as they were instructed.

And this story has been widely circulated among the Jews to this very day.”

Matthew 28:15

For the entire case that proves the resurrection did take place, I point you to Lee Strobel’s book Case for Christ. Evidence that proves Jesus rose from the dead includes the fact that there was an empty tomb. Not only was the tomb found to be inexplicably empty, but there were strips of linen laying there that Jesus’ body had been wrapped in.

“Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the

stone had been removed from the entrance.

(The other disciple) bent over and looked in at the

strips of linen lying there but did not go in.

(Simon Peter) arrived and went into the tomb.

He saw the strips of linen lying there,

as well as the burial cloth that had been around Jesus’ head.

The cloth was folded up by itself, separate from the linen.”

John 20:1, 5-7

Even though the tomb had been guarded by two Roman guards, and there had been a huge stone rolled in front of the opening to seal the tomb, this was not enough to prevent the resurrection from happening!

“There was a violent earthquake,

for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and,

going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it.

His appearance was like lightening, and his clothes were white as snow.

The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.”

Mark 28:2-4

Yes, even those who wish they didn’t know Jesus rose from the dead could not deny the truth of what they saw. Cover it up later? Yes. But deny it to themselves? Impossible!

Unlike Westley’s fictional re-awakening, Jesus’ resurrection was bona fide. He indeed physically rose from the grave.

Princess Bride -- "Does God Still Do Miracles?"

In Dr. Brad Burke’s book, Does God Still Do Miracles? he addresses the question of “miraculous” recoveries in medicine. He takes great pains to explain that often, when someone recovers against the odds, there are reasons outside of the claim, “It’s a miracle!” There are documented cases of what Dr. Burke classifies as ‘real’ miracles, but these other somewhat unexpected recoveries are ‘routine.’

In this writer’s opinion, I think it is better to credit God as being the Author of every good thing.

For example, I went in for laser eye surgery. Is it not a gift from God that this technology exists? Is it not a gift from God that all the equipment was working to precision on the day that I went in? Is it not a gift from God that I was considered a good candidate for the procedure?

It was a gift from God: my results exceeded the best of what the doctors hoped for. It was a gift from God that my eyes healed perfectly without any infection or extra dead cells forming cloudiness between the layers of my cornea. And, it was a miracle that I could afford the procedure at all!

Praise God – when I consider all the factors that had to come together to make this radical, positive life-change for me I am confident that God worked a miracle in my life. Dr. Burke would likely consider my results 'routine,' whereas I gladly give God all the credit. After all, is it possible to give Him too much credit? I think not.

Nevertheless, in this fairy tale, Inigo and Fessik actually get the miracle they paid for, and Westley – through the intervention of Miracle Max – is restored to life.

Aside from big chocolate pills and laser-eye surgery, the biggest miracle that ever occurred in the history of this world was that Jesus rose from the dead. He did not need a big chocolate pill, and there was no way that He was only ‘mostly dead’. He predicted his own resurrection (John 12:32), and demonstrated in advance his power to raise from the dead (John 11:25).

More on this in my next post... Stay tuned!

Princess Bride -- It's a Miracle! (Or is it?)

In the course of trying to reclaim his true love Buttercup, Westley is caught and tortured to death. Interestingly, it was Buttercup herself who caused him to be captured, while believing she was helping Westley to safety.

In the Pit of Despair, Count Rugen’s Machine sucked the life out of Westley. As he died, Westley made the sound of ultimate suffering which summoned Inigo and Fessik to his rescue. They arrived too late. However, Inigo had an idea: so they took the body to Miracle Max.

Who can forget Miracle Max, played brilliantly by Billy Crystal? After much haggling over the price, Max also insisted he know their true motivation in wanting to bring Westley back. Their reason was True Love, which wasn’t enough for Max. He only agreed to help them to humiliate Prince Humperdinck. He finally provides the chocolate-covered ‘miracle’ pill that brings Westley back to life. This is possible, if you remember, because Westley is only ‘mostly dead’!

A Word About Miracles

I wonder how many of us have ever begged God for a miracle only to be disappointed. Have you ever found yourself bargaining with God for a miracle? Jesus needed no other reason to raise Lazarus from the dead other than that His Father would be glorified, and people would believe He truly was the Son of God.

“Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?

Father I thank you that you have heard me.

I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here,

that they may believe that you sent me.”

John 11:40-42

Jesus did not perform miracles to help someone get revenge for a murdered father, or so that a nasty prince would have “humiliations galore”. Jesus healed the sick, gave sight to the blind, and raised the dead to fulfill prophecy (Mathew 8:17). He did miracles so there would be no doubt He was who he said he was (Mark 2:10-12, Luke 7:16)! Jesus never bartered for his miracles, and – contrary to what some believe – He performed them regardless of how much faith a person had (Mark 9:24, Matthew 17:17).

His miracles were:
1. Visible (Mark 1:44, Luke 13:13),
2. Undeniable (Mark 2:12, Luke 6:8-10),
3. Instant (Mark 5:29, Luke 8:47, 55),
4. Permanent (Mark 9:25).

Jesus could not be manipulated into performing a miracle (Matthew 16:4) and even performed a miracle for some people who were not even thankful afterwards (Luke 17:17)!

Why emphasize all this?

I think it is unwise to try to categorize what God will and won’t do. In other words, let’s not put God in a box and presume to know everything about Him. I think it is a dangerous game to assume we know the mind of God.

Not even Jesus knew the mind of God: He prayed for His Father’s will over his own. I pray that instead of “naming and claiming” miracles you will put your hope directly in God and the goodness of His character.

“Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.”

Isaiah 40:31