Readers, some of you already know that I have made a covenant with the Lord to surrender chocolate for 60 days, until May 16, 2011. This has nothing to do with Lent, but I suppose it is a similar idea.
The idea is that while my young friend is participating in a 60 day residential treatment program to be set free from his substance addiction, I am relinquishing my 'substance' as well.
I always joked about how often I liked to have chocolate. It was part of every celebration, and every self-pity party. It was my reward for accomplishing difficult tasks, and it was how I coped with stress. It was my immediate preference whenever choosing a flavour of gelato or ordering dessert at a restaurant. It was my default snack every time we watched a movie. Those pouches of Coffee Crisp or Kit Kat bites are my absolute favourite! At home, chocolate was always available in multiple forms: cookies, cake, brownies, chocolate-covered almonds, and whenever I felt the need for even more chocolate, I would make myself a warm-chocolate-melting cake fresh from the oven.
In short, chocolate was an integral part of my every day life. Much the same way that a substance becomes an integral part of an addict's lifestyle. Giving it up was much harder than I anticipated. In an effort to cope, I began to reach for alternate snacks to fill the void.
Last Tuesday I was preparing for a speaking engagement in the afternoon. There was still a huge piece of chocolate fudge cake with cream cheese icing sitting on the counter which I had made just before making my covenant promise. I was alone in the house. That cake seemed to be calling my name. I went over to the piece of cake, which my husband had conveniently already transferred from the big cake plate onto an individual serving plate, and held the plate in my hands.
I am alone. I thought, No one will know.
But I would know. God would know. And I wasn't willing to sell out my personal integrity for a chocolate fix, even if it was the best cake I'd ever baked, and even if it would go bad unless someone ate it. I could not bring myself to put it down the garberator or throw it away, so I stashed it in the freezer to preserve its life until someone else could enjoy it.
I decided to make a carrot cake and put the same irresistible cream cheese icing on it that I had put on the chocolate fudge cake. So instead of spending time preparing for my speaking engagement, there I was baking a carrot cake. When it was finally done, cooled, cut into layers, and draped in a lavish amount of the mouth-watering icing, I sat down to enjoy a piece.
That's when I came to the conclusion that there is no substitute. That piece of carrot cake, no matter how good, would not, could not, fill the chocolate void inside of me. It could never satisfy my desire, my longing, my craving for chocolate.
And I wondered how often we try to fill the Jesus void inside of us with other things. We buy shoes, clothes, household items, and all variety of material things to try and satiate the longings we have. Some of us chase the almighty dollar, or recognition in our chosen field. Some seek fulfillment in relationships, one after another, after another, after another. Some folks turn to thrill seeking, death defying stunts to make them feel alive. Others get hooked on a substance.
Only He is our Prince of Peace. He is our security, our joy, our strength. Only He can satisfy our soul-deep craving for unfailing love. Only He can redeem us from darkness and set us completely free. Unlike that piece of chocolate cake, Jesus really is calling my name.
Readers, I pray that you will realize that there is no substitute for Jesus. I pray that you can identify the 'substance' you are using to try to fill the Jesus void in your life. And I pray you will surrender it in favour of pursuing Christ.
Love, Darilyn
The idea is that while my young friend is participating in a 60 day residential treatment program to be set free from his substance addiction, I am relinquishing my 'substance' as well.
I always joked about how often I liked to have chocolate. It was part of every celebration, and every self-pity party. It was my reward for accomplishing difficult tasks, and it was how I coped with stress. It was my immediate preference whenever choosing a flavour of gelato or ordering dessert at a restaurant. It was my default snack every time we watched a movie. Those pouches of Coffee Crisp or Kit Kat bites are my absolute favourite! At home, chocolate was always available in multiple forms: cookies, cake, brownies, chocolate-covered almonds, and whenever I felt the need for even more chocolate, I would make myself a warm-chocolate-melting cake fresh from the oven.
In short, chocolate was an integral part of my every day life. Much the same way that a substance becomes an integral part of an addict's lifestyle. Giving it up was much harder than I anticipated. In an effort to cope, I began to reach for alternate snacks to fill the void.
Last Tuesday I was preparing for a speaking engagement in the afternoon. There was still a huge piece of chocolate fudge cake with cream cheese icing sitting on the counter which I had made just before making my covenant promise. I was alone in the house. That cake seemed to be calling my name. I went over to the piece of cake, which my husband had conveniently already transferred from the big cake plate onto an individual serving plate, and held the plate in my hands.
I am alone. I thought, No one will know.
But I would know. God would know. And I wasn't willing to sell out my personal integrity for a chocolate fix, even if it was the best cake I'd ever baked, and even if it would go bad unless someone ate it. I could not bring myself to put it down the garberator or throw it away, so I stashed it in the freezer to preserve its life until someone else could enjoy it.
I decided to make a carrot cake and put the same irresistible cream cheese icing on it that I had put on the chocolate fudge cake. So instead of spending time preparing for my speaking engagement, there I was baking a carrot cake. When it was finally done, cooled, cut into layers, and draped in a lavish amount of the mouth-watering icing, I sat down to enjoy a piece.
That's when I came to the conclusion that there is no substitute. That piece of carrot cake, no matter how good, would not, could not, fill the chocolate void inside of me. It could never satisfy my desire, my longing, my craving for chocolate.
And I wondered how often we try to fill the Jesus void inside of us with other things. We buy shoes, clothes, household items, and all variety of material things to try and satiate the longings we have. Some of us chase the almighty dollar, or recognition in our chosen field. Some seek fulfillment in relationships, one after another, after another, after another. Some folks turn to thrill seeking, death defying stunts to make them feel alive. Others get hooked on a substance.
Jesus -- there is no substitute.
Only He is our Prince of Peace. He is our security, our joy, our strength. Only He can satisfy our soul-deep craving for unfailing love. Only He can redeem us from darkness and set us completely free. Unlike that piece of chocolate cake, Jesus really is calling my name.
Readers, I pray that you will realize that there is no substitute for Jesus. I pray that you can identify the 'substance' you are using to try to fill the Jesus void in your life. And I pray you will surrender it in favour of pursuing Christ.
Love, Darilyn
