6. Swallow the fish!
There is a moment in the film when Hiccup brings a fish for Toothless to eat. The dragon eats it, and then -- coughs half of it back up to share with Hiccup.
Hiccup is obviously not that fond of raw fish covered in dragon slobber, but realizing the regurgitated fish is a symbol of friendship that has been extended by Toothless, he takes a bite.
Then Toothless waits expectantly for hiccup to swallow it:
It is a pivotal moment. Will Hiccup sacrificially swallow the fish in order to receive the gesture of friendship? Or will he choose instead to cater to his own tastes and refuse Toothless' bid for friendship?
These types of moments happen all the time in relationships and especially in marriage. We have to learn to both recognize and receive gestures of love -- even if they are not something we would have chosen for ourself.
Once when my son was about 10 years old, and a die-hard Skittles fan, I was standing at the kitchen sink doing dishes. He came over and offered me a sticky handful of Skittles. Partly because my hands were immersed in dishwater, and partly because I'm more of a chocolate fan, and partly because one can never be entirely sure where those Skittles have been... I said, "Oh, no thanks, honey. I don't want any Skittles right now."
He went over to the kitchen table and sat down quietly. And then he started to talk. "Mom, you know how you give us things sometimes and then you say, 'Wow, is that ever a nice shirt, someone must really love you'?"
"Yes," I said and waited for him to continue.
"Well," he said as he came back over to the sink, "do you want a skittle?"
Suddenly the light went on inside my thick head and I realized that the sweat and fuzz-covered skittle was really a symbol of my son's love for me. There he was holding out his precious little sticky hand, palm up, offering me his love.
"Oh, yes!" I exclaimed, "I would love a Skittle!" I took the candy and I scooped up my son in my arms and I held him tight and told him I loved him more than anything! He gave me more than candy that day. He gave me one of the best memories of my life. A memory of love. And I am so glad that I received his gesture of love. Thank God, he gave me a second chance to do so.
When you become acquainted with someone from another culture, you have to learn some of their customs to appreciate what they are communicating. When I was in France, I learned that to toast without making eye contact with each and every glass-clink would be considered rude. When I was in Mexico, I learned that dinner took place at around 10 o'clock at night, any sooner would be too early. When I taught in a small town on the prairie, I learned that to dance with another woman's husband is the worst social faux-pas. So, we adjust our actions to assimilate into the friendship. We go out of our way to make one another comfortable.
In our marriage we are definitely getting to know someone from another culture. Even if we married the boy next door, they are from a different family than us and so they come from a different culture. We have to get to know their customs, their gestures. And sometimes we have to choose to swallow the fish.
Readers, I am praying for you to succeed in your marriage, and all your relationships. Jesus loves you, and so do I.
Love, Darilyn
1 comment:
This really hit me so many things you said in your blog were true. It is definately up to us if we want to go out of our normal to accept someone's way of saying that were friends. Swallowing a fish is like taking a step into that persons trust and to many people it may be harder than it seems. Good job Mrs. Lemky you really got me to think
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