You've Got Mail -- Introduction

Everybody loves to get letters, especially personal correspondence. There is nothing like finding an envelope in your mailbox from a friend or relative you haven’t heard from in a while. All the bills and junk mail are quickly put to the side and you rip open that one particular envelope that has your address handwritten and a return address you recognize.

Finding a treasure like that in your mailbox is sure to put a smile on your face because it means someone has been thinking about you. The writer cares enough to take the time to sit down and put pen to paper to let you know what is new, and ask you how you are. Even a simple note of encouragement is worth its weight in gold!

And now there is email.

Do you remember when receiving an email gave us the same thrill we got when receiving a “real” letter? We read through each one from start to finish, and clicked on the reply button to send our personal thoughts in response to the sender, or our sincere thanks – after all, someone was thinking of us!

Then we got more, and more, and more “forwards.” They got to be increasingly ridiculous! Many were those you-must-forward-this-to-at-least-10-people-by-the-stroke-of-midnight-or-your-spouse-will-turn-into-a-cat, or if-you-forward-this-to-4-people-you-will-find-true-love-within-three-days emails. Soon we began deleting them without a second thought.

You’ve Got Mail came out at a time when the phenomenon of email, chat rooms, and the concept of internet dating was still new and fresh. The soaring popularity of all things technical fuelled the fire of this romantic comedy. It was a guaranteed hit with Tom Hanks headlining as Joe Fox and Meg Ryan portraying Kathleen Kelly. These two stars, along with director Nora Ephron, were together again after their previous smash success, Sleepless in Seattle.

Supposedly, the opposite of love is not hate but indifference. The chemistry heats up between Kathleen Kelly and Joe Fox as they are anything but indifferent towards each other. In the beginning, they have two simultaneous yet separate relationships.

Warning: There will always be a Philip Stuckey

Near the end of the movie, Edward’s lawyer, played by Jason Alexander, shows up at the hotel where Vivian has been staying with Edward. Edward’s stay in town is coming to an end and Edward is not in the suite at the time. Philip has been informed about exactly how Edward met Vivian, and he has been eager for Edward to leave town so he can make a move on Vivian for himself. He is not the gentleman that Edward is. He makes no attempt to be kind.

"This isn’t home.
It’s a hotel,
and you’re not the little woman.
You’re a $50 whore."

Phillip Stucky provides us with an accurate picture of what Satan is like:
• He will be at the door of your mind when you least expect him.
• He will make accusations – some of them you may be tempted to believe.

Satan will always remind you of your worst moments, your past your failures, and your self-doubts. Unfortunately, he knows your weaknesses too and will exploit them whenever possible.
• He will overpower you if you let him.
• He seeks to steal, kill and destroy any hope or joy you have found. Satan will curse you, accuse you, and lie to you. He will try to tempt you, he will threaten you, and he will try to defeat you.

Your Phillip Stucky could be Satan himself, showing up as negative thoughts in your head: doubts, fears, anxiety, regrets, shame and other self-defeating emotions.

But thank God, Jesus is always right there when you need Him:

“Call on me in the day of trouble;

I will deliver you, and you will honor me.”

Psalm 50:15

Once you are a new creation in Christ, you have the authority to order Satan to leave you alone. Whether it is an echo of an abusive voice from your past or an addiction that has you in its grip – you have the power, in Christ, to overcome it. If you feel you need help in this area, I recommend Neil T. Anderson’s Freedom in Christ Ministries.

If your Phillip Stucky is a real, flesh and blood, person who is verbally, sexually, physically, or emotionally abusive then you need to get help. Right now. Call a women’s shelter and get yourself free. No one should ever have to live like that. Call a Christian Counsellor – if you don’t know one, call your local church, and keep on calling until you get the help you need.

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

Galatians 5:1

Jesus wants you to be free to become the woman He created you to be. Do not cave in to your Philip Stuckey.

Readers: Where do you most want freedom in your life? Have you asked God for that? Why not do it today?

The Power to Transform

As I have mentioned, Vivian doesn’t have much success shopping by herself. Remember the uppity ladies in the store on Rodeo Drive? Edward has to escort her into a store and basically purchase her respect by spending what he describes as “an obscene” amount of money.

At this point, Vivian begins to look as though she is a respectable woman, and Edward’s money ensures she is treated as one. But neither of these would likely bring about an intrinsic change for Vivian. For that to happen, she has to see herself differently. By the final scene, she does.

Vivian has learned what it feels like to be valued, to be significant, and to be respected. Edward not only ensured that she looked different and was treated differently, but also he expanded her worldview by exposing her to new experiences like a polo match, a flight on his private jet, and an opera. Because she had the opportunity to see the world differently, she also began to see herself taking on a different role in society.

She begins to think how different life could be, and should be, from the life she had been living. She begins to see her inner-value as a whole person, rather her market-value as a ‘service-provider.’ Finding a high-paying customer is no longer her idea of success, now she will settle for nothing less than a life-mate who will see her as his equal.

Therefore, she begins to behave differently. She becomes more of the woman she was always intended to be. She is so changed by the end of their week together, that when Edward offers her an apartment and a car to be available for him whenever he is in town, she is offended by the offer. Just one week ago, she would have thought herself lucky to get a ‘great deal’ like that. But now she no longer sees herself as a cheap street hooker, or even an expensive “beck and call girl”.

Instead, she sees herself as a potential bride. She realizes she is someone who is capable of giving love and deserving of receiving love. Vivian tells Edward that she is no longer willing to settle for less than “the fairy tale”. There is no way she can go back to her former life. Her transformation is complete.

This is like what happens to us when we spend time with Jesus. We become the woman we were always intended to be.

“And we …are being transformed into his likeness

with ever-increasing glory.”

2 Corinthians 3:18

It is a mystery how it happens, exactly. I can’t really explain what happens on the inside of you, what happened on the inside of me. What I can say is that day by day, as I spent time in His Word, choosing to believe it and receive it, I changed. I became sure of who I was. I began to see myself as Jesus saw me. I let His forgiveness of me become real. I chose to believe that I am who He says I am, and that He loves me.

This is how Jesus gives you an Extreme Makeover from the inside out.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation;

the old has gone, the new has come!”

2 Corinthians 5:17

The more you read the Word and believe it, the more real and powerful it becomes in your life. Reading this book and learning the Surprising Truth can be just the beginning. If you persist in learning about Jesus and His incomparable love for you by reading the Bible for yourself, you too can and will be;

“transformed by the renewing of your mind”

Romans 12:2

Jesus has the power, the resources, and the will to transform you completely. He wants you to see yourself for how valuable you really are. Remember the price that was paid for you? Jesus longs to see you feeling so good about who you are, and how highly you are prized, that you are absolutely glowing.

You will look, and feel, like the Pretty Woman you are.

Precious Sister: Are you being transformed? Or are you still waiting for the process to begin?

A Special Note of Thanks to Beth Moore

I am really quite an avid reader and there are plenty of authors I will list on this site at some point to give you an idea of the writers who have influenced me. But there is one who deserves special mention because she, more than all the others combined, has had the largest influence on my life and walk with Christ.

I will say right away that it is not because of Beth Moore per se, it is because she turns me to the Word. She turns me toward Christ, and so it is really Jesus who is the greatest influence on me, but He has used Beth to accomplish it, and for that I believe she deserves some thanks.

The first Beth Moore Bible study I ever took was Breaking Free. That was in the year 2000. Each and every study has impacted my life in a significant way. I have learned, really learned, that Jesus loves me. I have learned how to dig into the Word for myself. I have learned how to Live Beyond myself. I have developed an even deeper appreciation for Biblical history, and the Jewish heritage we all, as Christians, share. Every year I was challenged and every year I grew to love Jesus more and more.

It has been an awesome 10 years, Happy 10th Anniversary Beth!

After getting hooked that first year, I continued for another six years or so. Then I decided to open up my home and lead others, who otherwise might not get the opportunity, through her studies. I was thrilled and privileged to be able to see Beth at Living Proof Live in Fargo just this past summer. I am now co-leading a larger group at another church and loving it more than ever. We are doing Esther.

The study couldn't be more pertinent to me and to my life right now. I am just beginning to push forward into the destiny to which I have been called. This blog is just a small part of answering God's calling on my life. I am so glad that Beth taught me that God qualifies the called.

So, Beth I thank you. I thank God for you and ask Him to continue to bless you so that you can continue to bless me... Oh! I meant ALL us ladies who look forward to each new study you complete!

My prayer that first year during Breaking Free was that I would know and love Jesus the way Beth knows Him and loves Him. I prayed that I would someday teach others about Him as she does. Today the highest compliment I can get, other than that someone sees Christ in me, is that I remind them of Beth when I am teaching.

Which brings me to something else Beth taught me. When she was just beginning she wanted so much to emulate another great teacher (I am only guessing, but I think she was referring to Kay Arthur!). But the Lord told her, "I don't need another teacher just like her, what I need is you, Beth!"

And the Lord told me something similar: "I already have a Beth Moore, now what I need is you, Darilyn!"

So, my ministry is called Tried and True Ministries. I have tried Jesus and found Him to be True. I love Him with all my heart and soul and mind and strength and I pray that I may inspire others to discover His love as Beth has inspired me.

Readers: Have you ever taken a Beth Moore study? If so, tell me how it influenced you.

Jesus Will Clothe You, Pretty Woman!

One fall I was at my favorite second-hand clothing store because I needed to find a winter coat. I had looked through the entire store, but found nothing. Just before I was about to leave empty-handed, a lady arrived with clothing to consign. I lingered in the hopes that somewhere among her items would be a winter coat for me.

She brought in bundle after bundle as I continued to ‘shop’. Each large bundle was wrapped in a black garbage bag turned upside down, with the hangers sticking out a whole in the bottom. As she brought in the bundles, the shop owner hung them on rolling racks. Soon four racks were bulging full, and the lady was gone. I could barely contain my curiosity.

As we opened each bundle (I was in there helping by now) we found coats of every shape, style, color, and for every season. And yes, they were just my size! I tried on many of the coats as I talked with the owner of the shop.

She told me that the suede coat that I liked best was probably worth $800 retail, an amount I never would have been able to spend on myself! Not only was this coat beautiful, but it was so warm and comfortable. Then I noticed it was brand new. Not like new, it was new. The original tags had never been taken off. The owner of the shop was saying she’d probably price it at around $250. No doubt the coat was well worth that amount, but since I couldn’t spend even that much, I said nothing. I smiled and continued talking with the shop owner. Spontaneously, she offered to sell the coat to me for $40.

Friend, that is Jesus! I was so happy and thankful and told everyone I knew about my little clothing miracle. I might not have had a Gold Card, or a billlionaire 'boyfriend' but I sure enough felt like a million dollars!

A few years after that incident, I met the wonderful man I am married to today. We had planned a late November wedding. Where I live, winters can be extreme. But I wasn't worried about what kind of coat I would wear on my wedding day -- with so many other things on my mind, I really hadn't given it any thought.

Thankfully, my sister-in-law-to-be has an amazing mind for details. Along with helping us by taking care of decorating the church (and SO much more) she arranged for me to borrow a full-length off-white fur coat. It belonged to an aunt in the family, and it had been in storage at my sister-in-law's house. I was overjoyed just to have something to wear, and I have to admit, it looked pretty spectacular!

During the dinner reception, the aunt whose coat it was asked me if I was enjoying wearing it. "Oh, yes!" I exclaimed, "It is the most beautiful coat I have ever seen!"

"Oh good," she said, "because I was just thinking that it looks like it was made for you and that you should keep it as my wedding gift, just for you."

So that is how Jesus wrapped me in a beautiful, full-length fur coat! I felt like a Pretty Woman, one clothed in honor.

But even when we don’t see Him at work in the practical, we can rest assured He is always operating in the spiritual. There we are guaranteed to be adorned with “garments of praise” and “robes of righteousness.” He won’t just give us a new outer image; He makes us new from the inside out!

Readers: Has Jesus done something like this for you? Tell me about it.

Extreme Makeover -- Clothed in Honor

Once Vivian accepted Edward’s offer, he began to provide clothing for her. If she is going to be seen with him, she needs to make the right impression. If she is going to be at his side, she needs to look elegant. First he sends her out to buy some clothes on her own, after instructing her on what to wear, and What Not to Wear.

On her own, she is unable to get the help she needs in the upscale shops she visits. The salespeople look down their noses at her and send her on her way. It is at this point that Edward steps in and ensures that every one of them is practically bowing and scraping to fulfill her every whim.

Ah, yes, the power of a gold card. (sigh!) No doubt about it! These are among our favorite scenes in Pretty Woman!

Jesus also cares about what we wear. If we are to represent Him, we also need to be aware of the impression we are making. I’ve noticed women of all ages and all walks of life dress in a way that leaves little to the imagination. This is not what Jesus wants for us.

Remember how Vivian looked so classy, respectable, and distinguished after she changed the way she dressed? She is absolutely dignified in a polka-dot dress with matching hat, gloves, pumps, belt and purse, with a smile of confidence on her face, and her head held high. And now, rather than garnering all the wrong kind of attention, she is turning heads for all the right reasons.

That is what Christ wants for you. It’s not about you being the center of attention; it’s about Him being glorified because you are His. Appropriate clothing brings Him honor, He cares a great deal about how you are dressed.

“I clothed you with an embroidered dress and put leather sandals on you. I dressed you in fine linen and covered you with costly garments. ...your clothes were of fine linen and costly fabric and embroidered cloth. ...You became very beautiful and rose to be a queen. And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect, declares the Sovereign LORD.” Ezekiel 16:10-14

Jesus will not physically take you shopping -- but He can tell you What Not to Wear. He wants you clothed with dignity and honor. He doesn't want you to buy into the lies of this world that you must be provocative to be noticed, to be valued, to be important. Girls -- you don't want the wrong kind of attention, do you?

Precious Reader: Begin today to view yourself as the Pretty Woman you really are. I am not saying to go out and spend a bunch of money you don't have -- we have to be smart about money, especially these days! But, next time you get dressed to go somewhere, ask yourself, "Does this bring honor to Jesus? To me?"

Wanted: Romantic Entanglements of the Eternal Variety

Edward states his reason in striking the ‘business deal’ with Vivian as wanting a professional to be at his beck and call.

She quips, "You want me to be your 'Beck and Callgirl?"

Edward is quite emphatic about NOT wanting any romantic entanglements. (Ladies, at least he is up front about it!)

In this regard, Jesus’ motives are nothing like Edward’s. From the beginning, Jesus was motivated by love to purchase us. The purest form of love you could ever imagine was and is his motivation towards you. Scripture is very clear about this.

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

Jesus wants a romantic entanglement with you. He wants to be one with you, even as He is One with God the Father. Check out Jesus' prayer for you:

"I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them." John 17:20-26

Isn't that the perfect picture of unity, of intimacy? Isn't that what every one of us craves -- a man who is emotionally available?

I'll tell you, Jesus is IT!

He wants to be one with you! He wants you to fully rely on Him, now and forever. He does NOT have a fear of commitment. He is not emotionally unavailable. He is not looking for a "professional."

In fact, Jesus is attracted to your weaknesses. Your neediness. He is the One and Only man who is Man enough to lavish you with His full attention, and be totally there for you no matter how clingy or how pouty you are.

How about you, sisters, doesn't that sound great?

The Power to Purchase

• 
  Something we really love about Edward is his power. Let’s face it. In this world, a man with money is a man with power. We all dream that some day our prince will come. In that dream, our prince is both rich and powerful!
  
  Edward can afford to do whatever he wants: He rents the Penthouse because it is the best, even though he is afraid of heights. He buys and sells companies whether the current owner is cooperative or not. He even manages to buy respect for Vivian. By using his purchasing power, he has the hotel staff, the retailers on Rodeo Drive, and even his colleagues treating Vivian with complete deference.
  
  Edward is a man used to getting whatever he wants. Edward offers to pay Vivian – first for giving him directions back to his hotel. Then he decides to "purchase" her for the night. Perhaps he is moved by pity for her after she helped him find his way to his hotel. Later he makes her an offer to keep her for the remainder of the week. Perhaps he is intrigued by her. He says it is because he doesn’t want to be alone. (Although we can guess there were other motives.) They haggle over price, and finally agree on $3000.
  
  While Edwards is very wealthy by earthly standards, Jesus is exponentially wealthier than all the richest men on the face of the earth (fictional or otherwise), put together.
  
  “for every animal of the forest is mine, and the cattle on a thousand hills. I know every bird in the mountains, and the creatures of the field are mine. . . . for the world is mine, and all that is in it.” Psalm 50:10-12
  
  Another verse confirms that everything and everyone belongs to Him:
  
  “The earth is the LORD's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it;” Psalm 24:1
  
  And Jesus is powerful. So indescribably powerful he can calm a raging storm with a single word.
  
  “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him.” Matthew 8:27
  
  Jesus has all the resources and all the power to do anything he would ever want to do. And, like Edward, Jesus makes an offer to purchase. In fact, Jesus has already paid the price to keep you at His side, not just for a day or a week, but for all eternity.
  
  “You are not your own; you were bought at a price.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
  
  What price did he pay?
  
  Jesus paid for your eternal life with His own life . . .
  
  “…his own blood.” Acts 20:28
  
  Readers: Does it seem real to you that Jesus surrendered His life for yours, and considered the transaction well worth it? Explain...
  
  

Total Acceptance -- Proof Part 2

I am sure it was pretty strange for Vivian as she began to realize that she was accepted by Edward. I mean, she didn't exactly run in the same circles as the likes of him! And yet, it was true!

Just as it was true that Vivian was accepted by Edward, it is true that Jesus accepts us. A passage that confirms we are loved and accepted unconditionally is Psalm 139:1-4:

“O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.”

God lavished us with his grace with all wisdom and understanding, as we saw in the last blog post.

Today we see that He knows our every thought, our every deed, indeed the very motives of our hearts. We are an open book to Him, transparent before him. There is nothing hidden from him about us.

Jesus knows you. He sees right through whomever you are pretending to be, to who you really are.

He is not put off by any of your shortcomings; your faults, your failures, or your flaws. He wants you to relax and be yourself – that is who he created you to be! He wants you to be comfortable in his presence. No matter what is in your past, or what your situation is right now, Jesus accepts you.

How can a perfect and holy Deity accept an imperfect sinner? He sees the repentant sinner through the “rose-colored glasses” of grace. He chooses to view us as pure and holy which is how we are, after being washed in the blood of the Lamb.

Isn’t that one of the things we love best about Edward? He saw Vivian not as who she had been, but as who she would be and could be under his care and guidance. He accepted her.

Dearest Reader: Do you find it hard to believe that Jesus accepts you completely, just the way you are?

Total Acceptance -- Proof Part I

Edward certainly would have had several good reasons to reject Vivian. She was socially beneath him, uneducated, and morally deficient. Yet, he accepted her just as she was. Jesus does the same for you.

Let’s look, in John chapter 4, at the way Jesus responded to the Samaritan woman he met by the well. He would have had three good reasons to ignore or rebuff this woman:

• First, she was a woman.
• Second, she was a Samaritan.
• Third, and most importantly, this woman had had multiple husbands, so she would have been considered far beneath Jesus on a moral level.

Jesus had already been criticized for spending time with tax collectors and sinners, and here he was again talking to a sinful woman. It was not that He didn’t know her shameful past. He knew it fully and wanted to befriend her anyway.

“The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband.” John 4:18

Jesus did not care that she was from a culture that was considered beneath him. Jesus did not care that she was a female, considered less important than a man, and most poignantly, Jesus did not let her sinful history stand in the way of the total and unconditional acceptance he offered her. Every woman deeply desires the security of knowing that her man can handle knowing the worst about her, and will love her anyway.

That is exactly what we have in Jesus.

We can be sure because this was not an isolated incident. Jesus responded in a similar way to another woman caught in the very act of adultery. She was dragged by an angry group of Pharisees to the temple courts where Jesus was teaching. They made her stand before everyone and announced that the Law called for her to be stoned to death for committing adultery. (Talk about public humiliation!)

Jesus did not condemn her as they expected Him to. He simply said to the men who were about to stone her:

“If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” John 8:7

On yet another occasion in Luke chapter 7 Jesus praised the woman who washed his feet with her tears and her hair. While the self-righteous religious leaders looked down their noses at her, “a sinful woman”, and criticized Jesus for allowing her to even touch Him, Jesus praised and exalted her.

“Her many sins have been forgiven--for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.” Luke 7:47

Do you want someone who knows everything about you, your imperfections, and your past, but who accepts you unconditionally anyway?

I know I do.

That Person for me is Christ Jesus.

You see, no matter how vast our sin is, no matter how much baggage we bring to Him, his grace will always exceed it.

“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.” Ephesians 1:7-8

That verse is so precious to me because it proves He knows everything about me, and accepts me just the way I am, warts and all! He accepts you just the way you are too. In fact, he lavishes his grace on us.

Lavish is an extravagant word that means generous, abundant and plentiful – in other words – more than enough grace to cover all our past, all our baggage, all our secret shame and sin. His grace is more than enough to cover our inadequacies.

Precious Reader: When you read, "No matter how much baggage we bring to Him, His grace will always exceed it." Do you feel relieved? grateful? sceptical? something else?

Total Acceptance, ...Past and All

In spite of their obvious differences, perhaps even because of them, Edward wants Vivian to stay. He accepts her, just as she is.

Jesus accepts you too. Just as you are. For starters, He already knows your name.
“He calls his own sheep by name” John 10:3

I remember a time early in my Christian walk when I visualized what I thought Jesus saw from his position high on the cross. I imagined that he saw a crowd of people stretched endlessly all around him – all those who would trust in Him for their salvation. I knew I was in that crowd, but imagined myself to be in the far distance. I thought He only saw me as a dot in that endless sea of faces. I figured He would recognize me, after all He is God. But when I began to realize that He knew me intimately, it changed my whole life.

When I realized that He not only knows my name, but has it engraved in the palm of his hand, I was so overwhelmed with the personal nature of his interest in me.
“See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;” Isaiah 49:16

He is intensely interested in you too. He knows your name. In fact, He’s known your name since before the foundations of the earth were laid. Isn’t that amazing?

And Jesus sees you, for better or for worse, through and through. From every detail of your outer appearance to the innermost secrets of your heart, Jesus already knows it all. Even if you wanted to hide something from Him, you can’t. Not even something as insignificant as dental floss.

He saw you when you were being formed in the womb. There is nothing that he doesn’t know about you, including the number of hairs on your head – and what your natural hair color really is! He knows what you look like without your hair done, without make-up, and without plastic surgery (if you’ve had it).

“I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep.” John 10:14.

Jesus knows everything you’ve ever done, or even thought about doing. Jesus’ acceptance of you is unconditional in a way that no other person’s ever could be. There is nothing about you, either tangible qualities or intangible qualities, Jesus does not accept. Nothing in your past, your present, or even your future can keep him from accepting you. He knows your deepest fear, and your highest hope. It doesn’t matter if you feel like you are the worst person to ever live. Jesus’ attitude of acceptance towards us goes so much deeper than the stain of any sin.

Need proof?

I did too. I will share abundant proof in the next post, so check back!!

Readers: How does it make you feel to know that Jesus knows every little thing about you? (Personally, I found it both awesome and terrifying.)

History Reveals the Mystery of a Destroyed Friendship

But, unfortunately, our friendship did not remain in tact. All of a sudden, he would not talk to me, would not spend time with me. And his little sister who was the third party of our previously inseparable trio, would not speak to me either, much less explain to me what I had done. I was devastated beyond words. I had no idea what the problem was, and I was powerless to discover it or mend the rift.

After observing me alone and despondent, my fifth grade teacher (God bless teachers!) sat me down and asked me what happened. I told her I didn't know. She asked what happened the last time we were together. I thought back to the day that I had learned Ian was Jewish.

After telling me his nationality, he had asked about mine. Let me tell you my family was equal parts of two European countries, and we really did not identify with either one. Had I known anything about history, WWII or the Holocaust, I certainly would have answered differently. I would have gladly forfeited any part (indeed every part) of my heritage to remain friends. In my ignorance, I answered with the first thing that popped into my mind.

When I got to that part of the story, my fifth grade teacher let out an "Ooooh!" which really meant, "Ah-ha." I pressed her for an explanation, and got a very perfunctory one. In any case, I got the message that Ian was justified in no longer wanting to be my friend, since I was German.

Soon after that we moved away, and I only ever saw Ian and his little sister one other time. It was when Star Wars came out and I saw them in line outside the theater. They still would not talk to me.

In the years following, I researched what happened. I wanted to know exactly what happened that had the power to ruin the friendship of two children, 30 years later, and half a world away. I grew up with such a feeling of sorrow and regret for all that happened. I grew up evading the question regarding my nationality, until I was sure it was 'safe' to do so.

I guess this is why when I read Anne Frank, see movies like Defiance or hear survivor stories, I am deeply moved. I am so sorry for what happened, and I thank God that my grandfathers both fought against the evil in Europe. So, I count myself extremely privileged to have had the opportunity to do one small thing to help preserve the truth of what happened.

Readers: With people out there who are intent in denying the holocaust, we all must stand up and defend the truth. To do your part, please visit http://www.jhcwc.org/ and sign the petition for the Holocaust exhibit to be a permanent one in Winnipeg's new Human Rights Museum.

Opportunity of a Lifetime

I had the privilege recently of proofreading another author's book. This was no ordinary book, indeed it was extraordinary. I felt specially selected by Providence to be so honored as to be asked to participate (in some small way) in its completion.

The volume was a collection of first-hand accounts of Holocaust Survivors. Each would rival Schindler's List, so intense and detailed were they in the telling. The collection was compiled by Belle Millo. All of the survivors eventually settled in Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada and made a new life there.

How did I happen upon such an amazing opportunity?

Two or three years ago I attended a Holocaust Symposium and I met a lovely woman who was the keynote speaker, and a survivor herself. Afterwards, I went up to meet her and encouraged her to write her story as a book -- so incredible was her account. I was sure it would be a best-seller. She took down my contact information but did not get in touch with me at that time.

She sought me out several weeks ago. She remembered me from more than two years before! She said my earnest and genuine interest was memorable because so few people react that way.

I was surprised to hear that my authentic concern and caring was rare. I mean, who could remain unmoved upon hearing about the persecution the Jewish endured? I asked myself, what in my life's experience could have caused me to have such a heart for the plight of the Jewish people?

And then I remembered.

The summer between fourth and fifth grade my family moved into a house that was just being built. I made friends with a boy that summer, his name was Ian. We were inseparable. We spent every minute together, unless we went to our respective homes for food or sleep. We rode bikes, built bike jump ramps higher and higher, climbed trees, created adventures, and played in the half-built houses all over the neighbourhood. I was such a tom-boy at that time, I doubt he even knew I was a girl. That summer holds some of my happiest memories of childhood.

Fall arrived and with it, school and cooler weather. One day Ian invited me to his home. I had never been inside his house before, had never met his family. He had a beautiful home, and I could feel the closeness of his family. I noticed some kind of wall hanging and commented on it. He told me that their family was Jewish. I had never heard of "Jewish" before. He explained that it was a nationality and a faith all in one.

I was so impressed! How cool is that to have a whole nation of people who believed the same way! What unity! What a sense of identity and purpose! Of course, I was too young and too inarticulate to express to him the fullness of my sense of awe. If our friendship had remained in tact, I have no doubt I would have converted, so needy was I for a sense of belonging.

But our friendship did not remain in tact.

Readers: If there was anything from your childhood you could fix, what would it be?

Pretty Woman -- A Man Who Looks Beneath the Mask

My heart actually aches when I watch the opening scenes of this film. I can’t stand to think that the streets of our great country are filled with young women like Vivian, trying to make their own way in the world, being treated like human garbage, and all the while, they are trying to pretend that it doesn’t destroy them from the inside out.

Vivian is a real person just like you or me. We witness her warning her friend off drugs, trying to take responsibility for their financial situation, and saying, “Don’t you want to get out of here?” We know she is not resigned to this as her ultimate fate. She refuses to work for a pimp, maintains what control she can in a situation that is clearly unacceptable to her, and tries to keep herself, and her roommate, as safe as possible.

So, once she is in the company of Edward, it is almost painful to watch her contrive an act to appear happy about being what she is. We can see that she hates herself for it. We can almost feel her inward shame. Who would blame Edward if he didn’t accept her? She obviously doesn’t accept herself, and we can see that he is far above her in every way.

When Edward first meets Vivian, he doesn’t know her well at all. He tries to become more acquainted, but she puts up barriers so he doesn’t get too personal. It is a wonder he gets to know her at all, since she goes out of her way to pretend to be what she thinks he wants her to be. She is overly obvious in her demeanor and language as if to demonstrate to him that she is nothing but a hooker through and through. She is trying too hard to convince him – or maybe herself – that their imminent encounter means nothing at all to her but cold hard cash. We know this is not so.

I think part of the reason this movie has become such a classic is that there is a little of Vivian in all of us. I don’t mean there is a prostitute in all of us, but haven’t we all stretched ourselves into a pretzel to meet someone else’s expectations? Haven’t we been pressured to be the perfect girlfriend, the perfect daughter-in-law, or the perfect employee? We all share the need for approval, acceptance and belonging. In Vivian’s case, probably out of a feeling of worthlessness and desperation, she pretends to be the perfect “date”. She soon finds out, with Edward, she doesn’t need to pretend. He accepts her – the real her – for who she really is.

Edward effectively cuts through her façade. He learns her real name, and encourages her to relax and be herself. He won’t let her get away with hiding anything from him, not even dental floss! When he sees her short blond hair was really a wig, he appreciates Vivian’s long unruly auburn hair all the more. And by the time he catches her submerged in a bubble bath caterwauling away, all pretenses are gone.

In spite of their obvious differences, perhaps even because of them, he wants her to stay. He accepts Vivian, just as she is.

Readers: Have you ever bent yourself into a pretzel trying to be someone you're not? If so, for who, why, and when?

Pretty Woman -- Introduction

Every woman dreams of being swept off her feet by a knight-in-shining-armor just like Vivian was in “Pretty Woman.”

Well . . . maybe not exactly like that, because Vivian was a street prostitute when she met her unlikely match. Edward, an extremely wealthy and powerful man, reluctantly picks Vivian up simply because he is lost, and desperately needs directions.

This film starring Richard Gere and Julia Roberts came under a great deal of criticism when it was released not only because it contains some pretty steamy moments, but also because the leading lady starts out as a prostitute.

Almost 20 years later, it is still causing controversy – at least for me. I have been taken to task for using an R-rated movie. The fact is many people are watching movies like this one, evidenced by the fact that it has grossed over $464 million dollars. If popular culture can be used to illustrate the character of Jesus to those who might otherwise not know Him at all, then I will do it.

Jesus himself became the Friend of prostitutes, murderers, adulterers, tax collectors and all manner of sinners. He even became my Friend. So I’m pretty sure that He would want people who (gasp!) watch R-rated movies to know Him too.

Paul agreed with my stand on this issue. He described his ministry as follows:
“I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some.” 1 Corinthians 9:22

Jesus is all about saving people. Sinful people. Even prostitutes: remember Rahab? How about Mary Magdalene? The sex trade is no laughing matter. Sin, exploitation and oppression never are. That is exactly why we need Jesus. So we can start over and be made into the image of Christ. No matter where we come from. No matter where we are now.

Even though Vivian comes from a shameful beginning, that soon fades into the background as she is transformed and the story takes shape. Vivian’s climb out of hopelessness and despair into the lap of luxury inspires us all that the American dream is alive and well. And most of all, this film stands as a testimony that it is never too late to turn your life around.

There are moments that make us laugh out loud, like when we see Vivian loudly and proudly singing way-off key while immersed in bubbles in the hotel’s Jacuzzi. There are moments that take our breath away, like when we see her, glorious, in the long red gown with her hair in an elegant up-do. And by the time the icon-moment of the film arrives, when Edward snaps shut a jewelry box as Vivian reaches into it, most of us would jump at the chance to trade places with her.

I’m sure many of us have dreamed of spending a day buying everything we want with someone else’s credit card. I think we all want to be pampered and spoiled a little, or maybe a lot. We, too, want to feel special, to be protected, and to command respect. And I know that every one of us longs to be looked at the way Edward looked at Vivian in that moment.

Not surprisingly Edward, the prince of this ‘modern-day,’ My-Fair-Lady style, fairy-tale, does several things that remind me of Jesus:

• He accepts Vivian
• He purchases her,
• He transforms her.

Readers: Have you ever dreamed about being spoiled, pampered, or transformed? Has it ever happened for you? Share it with us, if you would like...

What Women Want -- A Man Who Stands at the Door and Knocks!

A small, but perhaps significant, detail that I can’t resist adding is that while Nick literally stood at the bathroom door and knocked, Jesus does the same for us,
“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock.” Revelation 3:20

But more importantly, Nick did not judge or condemn his daughter. Neither does Jesus judge or condemn us. He has a far different agenda than that! He said so himself:
“For I did not come to judge the world, but to save it.” John 12:47

Jesus did not condemn Saul, even when he was steeped in sin, on the road to Damascus. He does not condemn us either!
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1

The fear of judgment or condemnation may be what keeps someone from coming into relationship with Jesus, but the truth is He accepts you just as you are.

Alex was afraid to tell her dad what was really going on for fear that he would “freak out”. She thought that maybe he would punish her for agreeing to her boyfriend’s plan in the first place.
Could that be a picture of us? We get ourselves into a big mess, maybe one so big that we know there is no way out. Or somehow, we just come to the end of ourselves. Finally, when we realize that we are at a place where we no longer have anything to lose, we cry out for help. We might as well. Just as Nick already knew what Alex’s plans had been, Jesus already knows your every hope, dream, and fear.

He knows your past achievements, your desires for the future, as well as your darkest shame and your deepest secret.
“The LORD knows the thoughts of man.” Psalm 94:11

Yet, we need not fear condemnation, judgment, or punishment. Because He already knows what’s on your mind, and He is ready to accept you just as you are. You really have nothing to lose.

Something else Nick does in this scene reminds me of Jesus. He affirms Alex’s intrinsic value. He honors her. He tells her that she did the right thing, “Oh honey, I am so proud of you!” Our heavenly Father also thinks very highly of us.
“ . . .you are precious and honored in my sight, . . . I love you.” Isaiah 43:4

Nick also convinces Alex to come out of her stall, and when she finally does, he says, “Look at you – Honey, you look beautiful.” Even though her hair is disheveled, and her make-up is streaked from the tears, he means it. Just as Jesus means it when He says you are valuable and beautiful to Him.
“The King is enthralled by your beauty.” Psalm 45:11

Maybe, like me, you are thinking, “How can this be?” Jesus loves you so much He looks right past the wrinkles and blemishes. He looks past the mistakes and the failures. He looks past the sin and the shame. He sees you as his Bride – fresh, clean, and radiant.
“without stain, or wrinkle, or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” Ephesians 5:27

Even as I write this, it is a truth that I have yet to fully absorb. My prayer for you, and for myself, is that we can fully internalize this very important truth. When we receive His offer of reconciliation and accept all that He has done for us, He sees us as if we had never sinned. He sees us as if we were never abused, or victimized, or hurt, or abandoned. He sees us clothed in dignity and strength, in purity and in victory. He sees us completely free from pain, regret, failure, doubt, and shame. And He never gives up on us until that is what we truly are!

Readers: My prayer for you, and for myself today, is that we would see ourselves as Jesus sees us. :)

What Women Want -- A Man Who Initiates Reconciliation

This is the last blog entry about the qualities that Mel Gibson's character, Nick Marshall, shares with Jesus.

Nick initiates reconciliation with his somewhat hostile, 15-year-old daughter Alex. Their relationship had already been strained, to say the least. He had been divorced from his wife and absent from his daughter’s life. Having been self-absorbed, he was completely out of touch with what was important to her. Once he had begun to hear her thoughts, however, he started to make changes in the way he conducted himself in his relationship with her. She had started to trust him, likely for the first time.

Because he had overheard her thoughts; he was aware that she was planning to surrender her virginity to her 18-year-old boyfriend after his prom.

On the night of the prom, after interceding to get Darcy her job back and intervening to save Erin from self-destruction, Nick gets a call from Alex, who is obviously in tears. Nick immediately rushes to find her. He finds her locked in a bathroom stall at the Prom venue. He sits down in the stall next to hers and listens as she cries her eyes out.

She confesses the whole story about planning to sleep with her boyfriend. But, much to Nick’s relief, she indicates that she had changed her mind about her earlier decision to compromise her purity. The tears, he learns, are because her boyfriend dumped her.

Nick’s reaction to Alex is an accurate picture of how Jesus reacts to us when we turn to Him. He doesn’t judge or condemn her, or say, ‘I told you so’. He praises her for what she did right. Nick chooses to focus on the positive and overlook her earlier lapse in judgment. He re-affirms her worth, and spends as much time as it takes to comfort her, encourage her, and finally to draw her into his embrace.

As we watch this scene we know it is only right that Nick initiate reconciliation with his daughter. After all, he had been an absent father, he had been emotionally detached, and he had been self-absorbed. He was the one who had damaged the relationship; he is the adult. It is right that he is the one to reach across the chasm and to win her over into a right relationship with him.

Conversely, if we are not in a right relationship with our Heavenly Father, it is not because He has been absent, emotionally detached or self-absorbed.

It is because we have been.

And yet, this incredible paradox exists – that He who has done no wrong seeks to make things right with us. Jesus is the one who initiates reconciliation with us.

Reader: Have you received Jesus' offer of reconciliation? Would you like to? Let me know...

I am praying for you.

What Women Want -- A Man Who Can Deal With Crisis Part II

4. Just as Nick suddenly had an opening on his team, Jesus has always had an opening on His team for you. He is in the process of building his church, and He has many positions to fill.

The church is often referred to as “the body” of Christ, because there are many parts that all work together, all taking direction from the head that is Jesus. If you truly desire to be on Team Jesus, to become part of the body, you will discover gifts and talents that uniquely qualify you to do something specific. Maybe your local church needs people who are willing to work with children. Maybe the church office needs someone willing to do filing or stuffing of envelopes. Maybe the Lord wants you to host a Bible study in your home.

Many people shrink away from the idea of serving the Lord because they fear that if they “report for duty” He will immediately send them off to Africa or India to live in a hut and eat raw insects while preaching the gospel in scorching 100+ degree temperatures. But this is simply not true. He made you and He wants you. He loves you and He will not expect you to perform tasks that are hateful to you. On the contrary, the job He has in mind for you will light you up like a Christmas tree!

5. Nick says that Erin’s name just ‘popped up.’ Conversely, there is nothing random in the way that your name comes up for consideration in Christ’s plans for you. He has specifically chosen you. Your name doesn’t just haphazardly ‘pop up.’ He has had you in mind since before the foundations of the world were laid. He created you, and He loves you. He has seen your contribution to his kingdom all along. His word clearly states:

“For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10

He really does have a job opening, and it really is specifically for you! You were created with a set of talents, interests and abilities precisely fitted for the job that has your name on it. When you find what you are called to be doing on Jesus’ team, you will find that it fits you exactly. You were created for the job, and the job was created for you. Isn’t that amazing?

(Personally, I also find it rather reassuring because I’m quite the city girl, and do not want to find myself in a hut in Africa, or in an igloo in Nanavut. In fact, here I am blogging and I'm loving it!)

6. It is quite remarkable that Nick uses the words, “I remembered you.” Those are words that come up quite often in scripture. Interestingly, it is usually right before God does something miraculous!

There are three examples in Genesis.

• God remembered Noah, and then the flood waters receded.
Genesis 8:1, “But God remembered Noah and all the wild animals and the livestock that were with him in the ark, and he sent a wind over the earth, and the waters receded.”

• God remembered Abraham, and spared his nephew Lot from certain death in Sodom.
Genesis 19:29, “So when God destroyed the cities of the plain, he remembered Abraham, and he brought Lot out of the catastrophe that overthrew the cities where Lot had lived.”

• God remembered Rachel, who desperately wanted a child. She, shortly afterwards, was able to conceive.
Genesis 30:22, “Then God remembered Rachel; he listened to her and opened her womb.”

God remembered these people – He thought of them, and acted on their behalf. He remembers you, too. His eyes are always on you, and He always loves you with a love that is unfailing and beyond measure. Perhaps you feel that your circumstances or your previous choices somehow disqualify you from receiving His unfathomable love?

You are not alone – I have felt that way myself. I am so thankful that Jesus intervenes in the lives of imperfect, damaged people just like me.

Readers: Has anyone ever intervened for you? Would you tell me about it?

What Women Want -- A Man Who Can Deal With Crisis Part I

When Erin, the suicidal file clerk, asks Nick why he has suddenly shown up at her apartment, he is conflicted about how to answer her. He decides to opt for the truth and says, “I came to see if I could do something for you. The truth is . . . the truth . . . the truth is that I am glad I got here before you hurt yourself. . . . We have a job opening on our team. We were wondering who could be great enough to fill that void and suddenly your name popped up and I remembered that you once applied for a job as a copywriter.”

Talk about an awkward situation. Nick turned it around and dealt with Erin with such tact and diplomacy! Jesus dealt with people in a very similar way on several occasions. In fact, from this short dialogue there are six similarities:

• Jesus came to earth to do something for us.
• Jesus tells the truth. In fact, He is the Truth.
• Jesus confronts our self-destructive behavior.
• Jesus has an opening on His team.
• Jesus knows your name.
• Jesus remembers you, and your desires.

We will look at three of them today, and the other three in the next blog.

1. Erin thinks that Nick is there because he wants her to do something for him. But he says that he came to do something for her. Likewise, Jesus did not come to demand something from us; rather He came to do something for us.

Jesus came to earth from eternity in order to give us life, life to the full. He came so that all who believe in Him would have eternal life. He came to bring us peace and joy. He didn’t come because he needed something from us, just as Nick didn’t seek out Erin because he needed something from her, as she had wrongly assumed.

2. Nick decides to tell Erin the truth. He could have made up some story about why he was there, but he has learned that honesty is something women value. Jesus always opts for the Truth. It is His nature. He is the Truth.

Whenever Jesus wanted to emphasize a point He would say, “I tell you the truth”. In the gospel of Matthew he says it over 24 times. Why is this detail important? Because we need to know that Jesus is trustworthy. He tells the truth. We can trust what he says. If we can trust what He says, we know He is who He says He is. We know that we are forgiven, and we know that we can rest in the knowledge that He is the Authority who is worthy of our loyalty. Knowing Jesus is trustworthy can be a turning point in your spiritual life, just as Erin knowing Nick was worthy of her trust became an important turning point for her.

3. Nick did not cover up his knowledge about Erin’s secret plan to commit suicide. Jesus also confronts us if we are engaging in self-destructive behavior. Jesus knows our thoughts and plans and is motivated to correct us out of a heart of concern. We may not be intentionally plotting to harm ourselves in the same way Erin was, but if we are on a path to destruction, He will show us where we need to make changes.

Maybe we are in a hurtful relationship that causes us to compromise our safety, our dignity, or our security. Maybe we are making poor financial choices, like racking up high-interest credit card debts, or over-spending on luxury items. Maybe we have a habit that we need to overcome like gambling or a substance addition. Perhaps we have unforgiveness in our hearts that is turning us bitter from the inside out. Whatever it is, if it is hurting us, He has a way of letting us know.

How will Jesus communicate to us? He can use his written word, the Bible, to guide us. He can use other believers to advise us, or He can warn us with a nudging in our conscience. If you suddenly feel convicted about something – it is the Lord confronting you.

Readers: Have you ever had to confront someone? Been confronted? How did that experience compare to what happened between Nick and Erin?

What Women Want -- A Man Motivated by Love

Nick Marshall finally intervened in Erin's life because his conscience finally got the best of him. Jesus' motives are so much stronger and more pure. He wants to intervene because of his great love for you.

Here it is beautifully illustrated:

“In your love you kept me from the pit of destruction.” Isaiah 38:17

The words, ‘your’ and ‘you’ in this verse refers to God. The writer is saying that God was motivated by love to rescue him from the pit of destruction. It gets even more interesting if we investigate the meaning behind the word love used here. In English, we only have one word for love. Unfortunately, we use the same word to describe the way we feel about our Mom, our husband, and our favorite restaurant. In many other languages, this is not the case.

The word love used here, in the original Hebrew, is chashaq defined by Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance as: to cling, delight in, to deliver, to have a desire, to long for.
This word is interchangeable with chasak, which is defined as: to restrain or refrain, by implication to spare, or to preserve also to observe: hold back.

After meditating on that verse, and both these original definitions for love, you may, as I did, begin to see just how motivated Jesus is to intervene. God is eager to reach down and rescue someone who is in desperate need. He is prepared to go to any lengths to find us and draw us into the safety of his loving arms.

The kind of love described in this verse reminds me of an incident that occurred when my son was about 15 months old. He was round all over, nearly bursting out of his little life jacket, as he toddled around the pool side in the back yard. He was tottering around much too fast and much too close to the edge of the pool for my comfort. I was perched on the edge of my pool chair, watching him every second, and I kept warning him to slow down, and to keep his distance from the edge of the pool. Finally it happened. He got too close to the edge and as he teetered, time stood still for me as I realized he was going to fall in.

Without hesitation, I dove for the pool’s edge – my bare knees scraping on the rough concrete pool deck. I got there while he was still sinking deeper and deeper into the water. I plunged my arm into the water and reached for him. In that eternal moment, I saw the look of shock and terror on his face beneath the clear water – his big blue eyes open wide, his mouth twisted as if to scream. I grabbed hold of his life jacket and yanked hard. With adrenaline surging through my veins, I had the strength to pull him out in one fluid motion and set him on his feet on the pool deck beside me.

I hugged him tight and comforted him as he cried. It was only after he was happily, albeit more cautiously, back at play that I glanced down at my knees and noticed they were raw, and bleeding. Blood streamed steadily down both legs.

Chasak love is just like that. He reaches down without the slightest hesitation, without calculating the cost, and pulls us up out of whatever trouble we are in. Then He comforts us when we cry.

Yes, our Jesus intervenes to save us, even when we least deserve it.

Readers: Do you ever feel like you least deserve God's love? Perhaps you've messed up or made a big mistake? That is just when God's might arm is reaching down to grab you, dear one.